I wonder sometimes how sommeliers can resist the urge to speak their mind. . .This passage from The World According to Bertie.
The waiter came and took their order. "And wine?" He asked.
Bruce looked at the list. "You know, I was in the wine trade for a while," he said to Julia, but loud enough for the waiter to hear.
"I'll fetch the sommelier," said the waiter.
"No need. . ." Bruce began. But the waiter had moved off and was whispering something into the ear of a colleague. The sommelier nodded and came over to Bruce and Julia's table.
"So, sir," he said. "Have you any ideas?"
Bruce looked at the wine list. "Bit thin," he said. "No offence, of course. No Brunello, for instance." He smiled at Julia as he spoke. She made a face as if to mourn the absence of Brunello.
"Oh, but I think there is, sir," said the sommelier, "Perhaps you did not register the name of the producers. Look, over there, for example. Banfi. We don't always feel it's necessary to describe exactly where a wine comes from. We assume that in many cases people know. . ."
"Where?" snapped Bruce. "Oh, yes, Banfi. Wrong side, of course."
"Of what, sir?"
"The river," said Bruce.
"But there isn't a river in Montalcino," said the sommelier gently. "Perhaps you're thinking of somewhere else. The Arno perhaps?"
Bruce did not respond to this; he was peering at the list.
"What about a Chianti?" he said. "What about this one here?"
The sommelier peered over his shoulder. "Mmm," he said. "I find that a bit unexciting personally."
"Well, why do you have it on the list, then?" Bruce said. His tone was now defensive, rattled.
"Well," said the sommelier, smiling, "We like to have one or two - how shall we put it? - pedestrian wines for some of our diners who have. . . well, not very sophisticated tastes. We don't actually carry Blue Nun but that's pretty much for the diner who would go for a bottle of Blue Nun. I would have thought that you might be interested in something much more. . . much more complex."
Bruce kept his eyes on the list. "Well have a bottle of this," he said, pointing wildly.
"Oh, a very good choice," said the sommelier. "And well worth the extra money. I always say that when you pay that much, you're on safe ground. Well chosen, sir."
Bruce looked at the list. "You know, I was in the wine trade for a while," he said to Julia, but loud enough for the waiter to hear.
"I'll fetch the sommelier," said the waiter.
"No need. . ." Bruce began. But the waiter had moved off and was whispering something into the ear of a colleague. The sommelier nodded and came over to Bruce and Julia's table.
"So, sir," he said. "Have you any ideas?"
Bruce looked at the wine list. "Bit thin," he said. "No offence, of course. No Brunello, for instance." He smiled at Julia as he spoke. She made a face as if to mourn the absence of Brunello.
"Oh, but I think there is, sir," said the sommelier, "Perhaps you did not register the name of the producers. Look, over there, for example. Banfi. We don't always feel it's necessary to describe exactly where a wine comes from. We assume that in many cases people know. . ."
"Where?" snapped Bruce. "Oh, yes, Banfi. Wrong side, of course."
"Of what, sir?"
"The river," said Bruce.
"But there isn't a river in Montalcino," said the sommelier gently. "Perhaps you're thinking of somewhere else. The Arno perhaps?"
Bruce did not respond to this; he was peering at the list.
"What about a Chianti?" he said. "What about this one here?"
The sommelier peered over his shoulder. "Mmm," he said. "I find that a bit unexciting personally."
"Well, why do you have it on the list, then?" Bruce said. His tone was now defensive, rattled.
"Well," said the sommelier, smiling, "We like to have one or two - how shall we put it? - pedestrian wines for some of our diners who have. . . well, not very sophisticated tastes. We don't actually carry Blue Nun but that's pretty much for the diner who would go for a bottle of Blue Nun. I would have thought that you might be interested in something much more. . . much more complex."
Bruce kept his eyes on the list. "Well have a bottle of this," he said, pointing wildly.
"Oh, a very good choice," said the sommelier. "And well worth the extra money. I always say that when you pay that much, you're on safe ground. Well chosen, sir."
3 comments:
Wonderful, wonderful. The kind of humour we try to attain in our own writing about wine (but rarely achieve...)
Classic! The gentle hand of the sommelier who every now and again has the opportunity to stitch someone up!
Always a golden moment.
CJ / PK and swearsommelier - the quote is all the more wonderful because the character - Bruce, is a horrible self obsessed narcissist.
Another sommelier quote that has been bumping around my head since I read it several months ago. This time from David Ridgeway from La Tour d'Argent:
He says he can sense wine snobs even before they speak - "It's written all over them. They worry whether the Bonnes Mares should come from Domaine Dujac, or Groffier or Roumier, and they spend the meal looking for a wine's faults rather than enjoying it. You can see the tension on their face"
Post a Comment